Excerpt From The Interview

Here’s a problem I hear from teenagers all the time. When you are constantly positive and kind, kids don’t feel you love them. There was a study on men in their twenties in prison. They looked for a common thread, and it wasn’t socioeconomics or race. But the majority of men said, ‘When I was young, no one cared enough to say no.’ 

Kids are sort of like bowling balls going down an alley. If you don’t have bumpers in the lanes, they’re going to go in the gutter every single time. If you want your child to go straight down the lane, you have to have bumper pads they run into. Parents are doing positive and gentle parenting, not for the kid but for themselves. They don’t want conflict. They want their child to always have a positive experience. But the way you learn in life is through pain. 

A child who is taught boundaries and limits feels safe. But when you’re too gentle and you’re too kind, honestly and truly, I’ve seen this so many times, kids don’t feel loved because rules make kids feel loved. They feel secure because they know you’re in charge. Parents are in charge. Parents aren’t there just to give them pizza every night because that’s what they like. Life is filled with conflict and healthy conflict. 

Sometimes the way parents grow in the relationship with their kids is through conflict. So I tell parents to walk into it and show their kids how to understand that there’s certain things they can and can’t do. Sometimes when they bump into the bumper, it’s going to hurt. That’s the way it is. Don’t soften it. Kids will disrespect that and they won’t feel secure.

About Dr. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a practicing pediatrician for over 30 years and one of the top parenting experts and father-inclusive advocates of our time. She’s an international speaker, the author of 7 books, including the bestselling book and now movie STRONG FATHERS, STRONG DAUGHTERS, the host of the popular podcast, “Parenting Great Kids”, and is a social media influencer with a community of nearly 700,000 followers.

Dr. Meg’s parenting philosophy is centered on proven, simple, and actionable strategies for raising strong kids. She’s on a mission to equip and champion dads to transform their relationship with their kids. And data clearly shows how a father’s presence in children’s lives is essential in developing them into healthier, kinder, and more resilient adults.

Links Mentioned: 

Strong Fathers Strong Daughters by Dr. Meg Meeker

Simple Discipline That Works

The Institute For Research and Evaluation on Transgender Issues

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