Justices in black robes have redefined marriage yet the ancient text is unambiguous:
God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Genesis 1:27
God’s image bearers – male and female – were designed to become one.
Jesus replied, “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ … and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Mark 10: 6-8
It is striking that the one covenant God asks man to keep is marriage. One man is joined to one woman for their natural lives.
Yet because we are fallen and live in a fallen context, we fail. Apathy, affairs, divorce, parallel lives… our sinful hearts drift from what God intended.
Many years ago Cindy and I saw young married couples failing. The US Census Department began using the term starter marriage. Couples divorce early. Get out before it’s too late. Upgrade to a better one.
We realized:
So Cindy and I cobbled together a curriculum and invited young couples into a two year Marriage Mentor relationship. We meet weekly to study Scripture, theology and model a lifelong ministry as a couple. We argue (a bit) in front of them, show them we are different but committed, demonstrate how we hammer out this wonderful, maddening, challenging thing called marriage, and try to follow Christ.
God’s word, God’s Spirit, and God’s people lumbering along trying to serve God and love one another.
Even though the culture has changed, God’s design has not.
Evaluate your marriage. Who are a few steps ahead of you that encouraged you in unity? Who is a few steps behind you that you need to encourage? Just don’t go it alone, drifting in and out of the design God intended.
All newlyweds face initial adjustments or difficulties in the early stages of their marriage, but the key is how we respond and learn from those difficulties for the next round of trials and adjustments life will bring.
Just as conflict is inevitable between two married sinners, external trials and hardships are also to be expected. It’s not a question of “if”, but “when”. So how do we respond to external trials that impact our marriages? How do we shift expectations and position ourselves to grow closer together through the trials rather than drift apart?
As most couples approach marriage, each partner holds unrealistic expectations and unknown expectations. Our unrealistic expectations stem from a lack of true understanding of what marriage really is, but our unknown expectations can be even trickier, leaving us frustrated and confused but not entirely sure why.