Question

Is there any Biblical support that there will be chips and queso in heaven? I’ve heard some say the streets of gold might actually be cheese. Do you think there is any validity here?

Answer

Dante’ Paradiso was about the 9 Spheres of Heaven. Little known is the rare extant manuscript of the 30 Cheeses of Heaven. While unattributed to Dante some scholars continue to believe he wrote it later. We can’t go over all 30, so a heavenly-cheese platter might include spreadable cheeses which won’t be in heaven. 

Processed cheeses like Velveeta or American Cheese won’t be found. A 2nd sphere of Heaven’s cheeses contain Italian cheeses like asiago, provolone, ricotta, parmigiano-reggiano, and one of Paul the Apostle’s favorites, Pecorino Romano. 

The 3rd sphere is blue cheese or roquefort. While very different, it seems awarded to the mature believer, the faithful disciples. The 4th, is Brie and Camerbert. Both are creamy smooth cheese shielded by an edible rind. Most don’t like it but it’s quite Christian to eat it and most accessible to the elderly.  

The 5th is cheddar, which is the most popular cheese consumed in America. If you’ve ever made kefir you know that whey is actually clear and the curds are removed and stacked, pressed together to make cheese. And we have a wide variety of cheddars from mild, yellow, white, extra sharp, even some blended ones. 6th is cotija, a beautiful mexican cheese, tangy and resistant to heat/melting. Typically found in heaven on St. Peitro’s street tacos. 

The streets of gold being queso could not happen since it would mean all of us would be lying around eating nachos all day and night. The extant manuscript does not mention queso precisely, but my guess is that it is a sub-fountain flowing deep and wide.

From all of us at inContext, HAPPY APRIL FOOLS!

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